Recently, a friend of mine ended things with a Scorpio, which has led to a lot of talk about why Scorpios are so unpopular. Yep, I said “we”—I’m a Scorpio myself. If that makes you hesitate to read on, you might be one of the many Scorpio critics out there. While we might not be the most hated sign (I think Gemini takes that title), we definitely rank high in the misunderstood category. And yes, I know that sounds like a classic Scorpio thing to
But can you blame me? When I started asking people about their Scorpio experiences, even my closest friends had pretty strong opinions. One friend (a Sagittarius) who dated a Scorpio said we’re too guarded, expect others to read our minds, and hold grudges over minor issues. Another friend (a Gemini) claimed that Scorpios are self-centered, judgmental, and quick to call others out on perceived slights. My roommate (a Cancer) mentioned that we exemplify avoidant attachment styles, keeping others at a distance to our own detriment.
Of course, I had to ask the pros if the Scorpio haters have a point or if they’re just jealous. To sway the argument in my favor, I reached out only to fellow Scorpios. Drew Allen, founder of Angelite Astrology, told me that it’s all about whether the Scorpio in question has put in the inner work to become the best version of themselves—or as some astrologers put it, if they’re an “evolved” or “unevolved” Scorpio. “If you come across a Scorpio who is not living the life they’re meant to or feels misunderstood in their environment, the negative clichés will seep out,” she said:
“A more evolved Scorpio is going to love you unconditionally, give you great advice, protect you, and use their passionate energy to fight for worthy causes. Scorpios must learn to use their power for good.”
One thing I noticed is that the people who have the most to say about Scorpios’ negative traits, aside from their exes, are…Scorpios themselves. “My brother thinks I could commit murder just because I’m a Scorpio,” one shared. Another mentioned, “We put so much energy into hiding our feelings and keeping them private that it probably comes off as cold to others. The truth is, we feel so deeply that we can’t afford to share that with everyone.”
An old Hairpin article titled “Astrology Is Fake but Scorpios Are Extremely True” opens with, “It should be illegal to be a Scorpio. It should be a war crime. You should only be able to look at a Scorpio from a distance of 200 meters while wearing protective gear. If you’re a Scorpio reading this, stop. You’re smiling in a way I don’t appreciate.”
Hmm, you might be thinking this sounds a bit like… bragging? I have a theory: Scorpios actually thrive on Scorpio hate; it makes us stronger. “You think I’m a sex maniac who will cut you off with no notice? Sure, I can be that!” one Scorpio told me. Another added, “If being a Scorpio intimidates people, hey, I’ll take it—and lean into it.”
Many of the Scorpios I spoke to felt a bit uncomfortable with their Sun sign when they were younger. I did too—when I first picked up an astrology book in middle school, I identified more with Sagittarius because Scorpio’s dark, sexy vibe felt intimidating to my preteen self (and, fun fact, my Moon, Mercury, and Venus are all in Sagittarius). But as I matured, I embraced my Sun sign and now proudly identify as a Scorpio.
Astrologer Narayana Montúfar had a similar journey. “I love being a Scorpio! It wasn’t easy to learn to be myself, but once I recognized that my emotional depth is a strength, things changed for me,” she shared. “I’m not afraid of being intense, either.” The traits many dislike in Scorpios—like guardedness and intensity—can actually be positive when viewed differently. As Montúfar puts it, “We’re not for everyone, but do we even want to be? I say no!”
So, why do people hate Scorpios?
“Scorpios are manipulative and controlling.”
As fixed signs, we can be stubborn—we like to have our own way! But which other sign combines emotional intelligence with the determination to see things through? If a Scorpio wants control, maybe it’s best to let them lead.
“Scorpios are possessive and jealous.”
Okay, I admit we might notice who’s liking your Instagram posts more than a laid-back Taurus would. But it’s only because we care deeply! When we fall in love, we do so intensely, which can be overwhelming. Reassuring your Scorpio can ease those worries. (But yes, if jealousy goes too far, feel free to move on.)
“Scorpios are cold and aloof.”
Sure, we can seem intimidating, but that often comes from shyness! Underneath, we’re sensitive water signs, but our ruling planet, Mars (the planet of war), can make us appear a bit fierce—or even sexy. Once you earn a Scorpio’s trust, you’ll discover a much warmer side.
“Scorpios hold grudges.”
Yes, we do hold grudges—but why is that a bad thing? Scorpios can forgive, given time and effort, but we never forget. This quality actually makes us excellent judges of character. If you don’t want a Scorpio to hold a grudge, just don’t cross them in the first place!
